All the camping gear

How to buy a trailer

You will need:

1 husband (or similar)
Many spare hours
A towbar
A bigger budget than you expect
To stick to your guns
Patience

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  1. Set budget – pluck a figure out of the air, no research needed
  2. Hand over control of iPad or other Internet enabled device to husband. (Allow 20+ hours for this step)
  3. Decide on size of trailer needed. Do not get out all of your kit so you can see how much space it takes up. This is unnecessary. You will remember perfectly well how big it is from the three times you used it more than nine months ago
  4. Prepare to be convinced there are many more gadgets necessary for successful trailer ownership – jockey wheel, hitchlock, spare wheel & hard top for starters
  5. Publicly declare a 3 inch by 5 inch trailer will be the perfect size. I’d use a blog, but you may want to explore alternative mediums (yes, thank you Pops. I did. Mean 3 feet by 5 feet)
  6. Go to local outdoor shop to see size of trailers for yourself. Indulge Husband in “feeling the weight”. Resist the urge to say “Why? I’m not a cart horse, the car will take the strain on that front.”
  7. Smile & nod as appropriate while husband discusses relative advantages of brand A over brand B
  8. Realise larger version of trailer is out of budget, even though bigger would probably be better
  9. Stand your ground over veto-ing purchase of nearly-new trailer at double original budget from people who fit the tow bar. Stand your ground – a second-hand one will do the same job for a bit more than half the price
  10. Assess timescales. We allowed eight weeks in which to make a purchase
  11. Set geographical boundaries. Is two hours each way too far to travel? Use these plus budget to shortlist suitable trailers
  12. Don’t panic! Eight weeks is plenty of time once you realise the trailer you want sells at the rate of one per day on eBay
  13. Allow husband to have alpha male conversations with vendors via email about technical bits that you don’t need to worry your pretty little head about
  14. Give in to Husband’s panic re timescales
  15. Bid on a suitable specimen. Lose out
  16. Identify suitable trailer with ‘buy it now’ listing
  17. Allow husband to establish relationship with vendor (see 13 above)
  18. Discuss making an offer lower than buy it now price
  19. Ignore husband’s reticence & pretend to be husband in an email to say ‘wife’ is giving you ear ache about spending too much money & could we negotiate a lower price? Suggest price £20 lower than budget
  20. Accept vendor’s kind offer of on-budget price
  21. Buy It Now!
  22. Collect trailer on Mother’s Day (when else?). Note for male readers – do not, under any circumstances, joke about tying a ribbon to the trailer & calling it a present. It didn’t work with the car bought three weeks before Christmas, so it definitely won’t work now
  23. Humour husband while he tells you in minute detail about how he will rearrange garage space to accommodate trailer. More smiling & nodding required
  24. Entertain children while garage refurbishment takes place
  25. Admire newly-arranged garage. Ooh & aah as appropriate
  26. Nod sagely when husband suggests purchasing grease for bearings on the wheels. It prolongs the life, apparently
  27. Do not offer helpful suggestions as husband attempts to pack all camping gear into the trailer for storage. This will only agitate him. Better to put the kettle on & have a brew ready for when he’s finished

Congratulations on your successful purchase. We hope you enjoy your trailer.

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2 thoughts on “How to buy a trailer

  1. Phil Daniels

    After all the planning and final execution, your Husband has no excuses but to ‘enjoy’ camping for ever!

    1. admin Post author

      I like your style Phil. He just needs some thermals & lightweight trousers so I’ll despatch him to Go Outdoors soon.

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